#102: Lifestyle design

There’s a famous quote by Rumi: “The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear”. It speaks to the importance of speaking less so you can listen to others better.

But what if we made a concerted effort to listen to ourselves more?

I’m writing from Marbella, sitting on a balcony overlooking the sea. For days, the sound of the waves has been one of the few noises in my apartment. My life here has been simple. In that simplicity, I feel like I’ve made a step change in understanding myself and many aspects of life as a whole.

This shift hasn’t come from learning anything new. Quite the opposite. By reducing the volume of life—both literally and figuratively—long-held thoughts and experiences have resurfaced, allowing me to process them with greater clarity.

What did I change?

• Weather - I chose a location with guaranteed warmth and sunshine, where I could wear shorts and a vest every day, without worrying about layers or the cold. I selected a penthouse apartment overlooking the sea.

• Sleep cycle - I’ve tried to align my circadian rhythm as closely as possible with the sun, waking naturally each morning (without an alarm) to watch the sunrise over the sea and ending my day with the sunset. Most of my waking hours have been spent in natural light.

• Time outdoors - Apart from sleeping, I’ve been outside all day. I worked on my balcony in direct sunlight (with sunglasses and sunscreen), ate every meal outdoors, and trained in an open-air gym (the fitness scene in Marbella is incredible). I walked ~15,000 steps daily by the sea.

• Nutrition - I eliminated most ultra-processed foods, avoiding packets and jars unless they had minimal additional ingredients. I cut dairy and other inflammatory foods while reducing my overall calorie intake.

• Sound environment - Returning to Rumi’s idea, I minimised artificial sounds. At home, the sea provided natural ambient noise. While walking, I switched my headphones from noise-canceling to ambient mode (and turned the volume down), ensuring I was always attuned to my surroundings.

• Lifestyle upgrades - I allowed myself small, thoughtful purchases that simplified my life, saved time, or enhanced everyday experiences.

• Prioritising myself - I placed greater importance on activities that benefit my well-being—journaling, walking, gym—structuring everything else around them instead of the other way around, which has always been my default.

• Routine and structure - Placed extra importance on habits and routines, looking for more routine and similarity in sleep and meal times, having more structure and taking life at a slower pace.

The benefits

1. Physiology

I feel noticeably healthier, and my Whoop wearable data confirms it:

• Sleep – I’ve slept longer and with greater quality.

• Vitals – My resting heart rate has fallen to its lowest level in 10 months, and my heart rate variability has increased (A higher HRV indicates better recovery, stress resilience, and overall cardiovascular health).

2. Mental and emotional well-being

I feel like I’ve experienced life more vividly during this time. Colours and sounds seem enhanced. I’m more present in my activities and interactions. Gratitude comes more naturally. I also feel kinder—both to others and to myself.

Most importantly, I’ve heard myself more. Thoughts that had been buried for years have resurfaced, allowing me to reflect and make some permanent changes. In many ways, this experience has been about reconnecting with myself.

I recently came across a quote on the back page of Bill Gates’ new book that resonated deeply with me, and perfectly sums up my experience:

"For most of my life, I’ve been focused on what’s ahead. Even now, most days I’m working on hoped-for breakthroughs that may not happen for years, if they happen at all. As I grow older, though, I find myself looking back more and more. Piecing together memories helps me better understand myself, it turns out.

It’s a marvel of adulthood to realize that when you strip away all the years and all the learning, much of who you are was there from the start.”

Implementation idea

I recognise that my circumstances are privileged, and replicating my exact experience may not be feasible for many reasons.

However, many of these things can be implemented in small ways. Even small changes—implemented gradually—can yield significant benefits over time. They can compound significantly if carried through over a lifetime.

Designing our environment and lifestyle with intention is not just a luxury; it’s a powerful way to really enhance our well-being.

So take a moment this week to reflect:

What small changes could I make to improve the quality of my life?

— AJ

On my bedside table:

🎬 Video: Confronting My Difficult Childhood by Bryan Johnson (24 mins)

💬 Quote: "Many people are born into families that forced them to be in survival mode. Years later, they’ll begin to understand that their minds and bodies have to work harder to function because of this. I can’t think of anyone who deserves understanding more than someone who knows this pain.” - Nate Postlethwait

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