#103: Kintsugi

Good evening, and greetings from a Boeing 777 from Dubai to London.

This week, I celebrated my birthday (thank you all for the kind wishes). As I began the day with an outdoor gym session under the sun, reflecting on the year gone by, I realised it could be summed up in one word: Kintsugi.

Kintsugi, which means ‘golden joinery’, is the Japanese practice of repairing broken ceramics with lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum. Rather than disguising the damage, Kintsugi highlights the cracks, making them a celebrated part of the object’s history.

A metaphor for growth

The philosophy of Kintsugi extends far beyond pottery; it is a powerful metaphor for personal growth.

As human beings, we are like pieces of ceramic (on my birthday, I had an image of a porcelai trophy)—shaped by experience, marked by time, and inevitably bearing cracks from life’s challenges. These flaws may come in the form of past mistakes, emotional wounds, or insecurities, and often, we try to conceal them—papering over the cracks with perfectionism, avoidance, or outward success.

But sometimes, things happen that shatter us completely. The once-prized trophy of our self-image falls, and it seems beyond repair. Even if repair is possible, doubts creep in—can it ever look as good again? Wouldn’t it be easier to replace it with something new?

My kintsugi

Year 33 for me saw the trophy fall and break. The last 12 months have been a process of Kintsugi—examining each fragment as I pieced it back together. Every golden thread laid wasn’t just about healing; it was about understanding how each crack formed over the years.

Through this process, I’ve learned three key lessons:

1. Breaks and imperfections are part of our story – Just as Kintsugi honours the cracks, our past wounds don’t diminish our worth; they shape who we are.

2. Strength through adversity – Like a repaired vase, we can emerge from hardship even stronger and more valuable than before.

3. Healing can be beautiful – The golden seams represent a more profound truth: healing doesn’t erase the past but integrates it to enhance our lives.

Implementation idea

• Embrace your imperfections – Growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about authenticity.

• Reframe setbacks as opportunities – Challenges can become the gold that enriches your life.

• Practice self-compassion – View your struggles not as flaws, but as integral parts of your unique story.

• Ritualise healing – Whether through mindfulness, exercise, therapy, or creativity, approach healing as an intentional and transformative process, much like Kintsugi itself.

Wishing you the best of weeks,

— AJ

PS: A belated Happy International Women’s Day to my female readership. The world would shine less brightly, and the birds would sing less sweetly without you.

I dedicate this post to the woman who first dropped the vase, to the one who took a sledgehammer to it, and to every woman who sprinkled her own gold and silver into the lacquer as it was being rebuilt. You are all part of the finished masterpiece.

On my bedside table:

💬 Quote: "I love the idea that an accident can be an occasion to make something more delightful, not less so." - Ingrid Fetell Lee

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