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#84 Reciprocity
Alex Joshi
September 08, 2024
Hi friends,
Thank you for the overwhelming response to last week’s edition; I really appreciated each and every message.
It has been another rough week in a year which is proving to be the most challenging of my life. This week, I lost my teammate and closest friend at work, Henk Potts.
He was an endless source of fun over the thousands of hours we’ve travelled the world and shared the stage together on business, and he has been the most influential teacher in my development as a speaker.
We all know when we are in the presence of someone special, but it can be when they pass that we truly understand how impactful they were on so many others.
It has become so clear to me this year that, at the end, people will most remember you for how you made them feel. The special people in our midst are those who give and love without reservation or expectation. They open themselves up to the world, and they let their light shine bright, elevating those around them, even when clouds form in their own lives.
Henk was an exceptional human being who put out into this world nothing but positivity.
Most of us are familiar with the quote, ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’, but do we truly live by it? Deep down, we all know that to receive, we must first give, and good things in life aren’t simply handed to us.
But how closely do we live by these words? At some point, we all lament the cards we've been dealt—the setbacks, the plans that didn’t work out, or how we feel others treat us. It's in our human nature to do so.
"Reciprocity underlies everything from basic human kindness to the most complex trade systems. At its core, reciprocity is the simple idea of treating others as they treat us—giving what we get. From this simple principle grows a vast web of social interactions and expectations that shapes nearly every aspect of our lives.
Many people seem to expect the world to hand them things without effort. This is a poor strategy because it doesn’t align with the human behavior you can observe around you every day. Reciprocation teaches us that if you give people cynicism and curtness or nothing at all, you are likely to receive the same. But if you give people an opportunity and the benefit of the doubt, you will often be on the receiving end of the same behavior.
Become what you want to see in the world, and the world will return it to you. If you want an amazing relationship with your partner, be an amazing partner. If you want people to be thoughtful and kind to you, be thoughtful and kind to them. If you want people to listen to you, listen to them. The best way to achieve success is to deserve success. Small changes in your actions change your entire world.
One of the biggest misperceptions about reciprocity is that people should sit around waiting for others to go first rather than unlocking the power of reciprocity in their favor by going positive and going first without expectation.
Reciprocity reminds us that our actions tend to come back on us. It’s an important reminder that we are part of the world, and thus our actions do not happen in isolation but are instead part of an interconnected web of effects.”
Implementation idea
Am I putting out into the world what I seek to receive?
What changes could I make this week to do better?
And most importantly; cherish today; tomorrow is not guaranteed.
— AJ
On my bedside table:
📖 Non-fiction: Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig
📚Fiction: Camino Ghosts by John Grisham
💬 Quote: “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” - Claude Campbell
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