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What game are you playing?
Alex Joshi
September 10, 2023
Hi friends,
Welcome back to Plane Thoughts. It's great to be back with you after what I hope was an enjoyable summer break.
Mine was spent in a beach town in Spain, surrounded by family and friends. These friends of mine, whom I only get to see once a year during our annual visits to our summer apartments, offer me a unique perspective on life. Their diverse careers and lifestyles create conversations unlike any I have in London.
During our reunions, we share a year's worth of life experiences, discussing both our commonalities and differences. Inevitably, when topics like income, property prices, and living expenses arise, someone always points out the significant disparities between Spain and the UK. We do this to remind ourselves that making direct comparisons can paint an inaccurate picture of our living standards.
Caution with comparisons
Exercising caution when making comparisons with others is vital in today’s interconnected world, where we have exposure to people from all walks of life. It is now easier than ever to compare our lives and those of others, which is not always healthy.
Observing the success of others and trying to emulate them is generally no bad thing because there is a lot to learn from the lived experiences of others. However, being overly focused on others can lead to dissatisfaction.
Most people know the perils of attempting to ‘keep up with Joneses’, but staying out of this trap of comparison is easier said than done. The aim should be to take inspiration and learn without being too swayed by the behaviours and actions of others.
One simple tactic is to recognise that we are all playing different games.
What game are you playing?
Imagine you are running a marathon. You have trained for a set pace and time. Now imagine that a few kilometres in, people start coming past you extremely fast. Would you start running at their pace? Probably not; they're playing a different game. You'd run a couple of kilometres faster, but then you'd likely drop off, and there's a considerable risk of then not finishing.
This analogy applies to all aspects of our lives. While we often compare ourselves to peers who seem similar to us, the reality is that we're playing entirely different games with distinct rules.
Our values, objectives, past experiences, and financial situations vary greatly. Superficial comparisons can lead to discontent and, more importantly, steer us away from our unique paths. We must remember that others have different goals and perceive the world differently.
Implementation idea
Take time to reflect on your goals across different life domains. When you look at others, remind yourself that they may be playing a very different game. Embrace the inspiration and lessons they offer, but stay true to your own path. After all, each of us has our own race to run, and it's essential to focus on finishing strong rather than trying to keep up with others.
Best, Alex Joshi.
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